My neighbors get drunk EARLY sometimes. Like I’ve come home from work and gone out on my porch around 7 and they will be just MADE out of alcohol. To the point where it’s all breath and fist bumping and I’m afraid to light a match. Also, why must one pour rum into a beer.


This girl neighbor, when she’s drunk, always shouts these commands out at her dog. 90% of the conversation will be her struggling to communicate with her barn of animals. Like Philllllippp. PHLIP. I wannn you to shhhhhake hnds. Siitttt. And the dog NEVER COMPLIES.   She will get drunk frustrated and force this dog to complete the motions.

I just like the thought that this dog is like, I’ll only perform for sober, COMPLETE SENTENCES.  Roll your r’s, please. 


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