WHY DON’T YOU DAMN WELL SMILE

Yet another post for the “questionable conversations in the workplace” file. I have a coworker who has made it his mission to be on my ass about “never smiling”. Like, everytime he passes by my desk / I pass by his: “HEY LAURA. SMILE, YOU SHOULD SMILE. WHAT’S WRONG ARE YOU SAD” etc etc

The latest:

(I’m at my desk, mid-email)
Him: Hey. Smiiiiiiiiiiillllle, would ya?

Me: Excuse me?

Him:   SMILE!! You’re always so stern and somber looking.

Me: I’m writing an email; am I supposed to be beaming? Laughing?

Him: What’s wrong, c’mon

Me: Nothing, I promise

Him: *suspicious look*

Me: Do you sit at your desk always smiling?

Him: Are you lonely? Is that the problem?

Me: uhhh…?

Him: Since Kelsey left? (my only coworker)

Me: Well yeah, but I manage. There’s a lot of work to keep me occupied.

Him: Well, I hope to see you looking happier then.*knocks on desk, walks off*

Me:

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