conversation with karen, pt. one

me: i don’t get how anyone takes The Bachelor / Bachelorette shows seriously. it’s just so bizarre.

Karen: ah, yes re: bachelor

me: seriously. you’re trying to vy for a guy who you know for a few weeks, and spends 75% of the time he’s “dating” you making out with other women? I’m confident in most other countries, people would just call you a whore and be done with it

Karen: haha. best laura quote ever. I’m with you

me: if I got put on one of those shows i’d be like, what the f, dickhead? you expect me to COMPETE for you?
Do I at least get cake at the end? A gold medal? A house?
Do you go away afterwards?
Also, how is anyone surprised when those things don’t work out?

Karen: it’s even worse if he picks you and then you have to go back to normal life, he’s all: hey wanna grab some cactus grill and stop at blockbuster saturday night?
and you’re like, uh, i was thinking a jet to hawaii while a violin player makes sweet music and you feed me by the ocean and then we take a helicopter through the amazon
and he’s like, i can buy us a pineapple upside down cake?

me: hahaha best karen quote ever
like, they’re all just REALLY having a huge competition just to sleep with a “hot” guy
who’s a total man whore

Karen: YES
you know stephanie w–shite from high school, don’t you?

me: yes. She disgusts me

Karen: you know she was on the bachelor right?

me: if I see her at the reunion, i’m gonna be all, way to sell yourself on national television. GO STEPH

Karen: im not a big fan, esp not 29,083 seasons later

me: it’s just so backwards. did women really fight for equal rights for years just to COMPETE FOR A MAN ON A SHOW

In case you haven’t noticed, I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE, with the fire of a thousand suns, reality dating shows. How is this show still on, let alone still POPULAR??

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