tap tap tap >HOLY HELL<

Working diligently at desk, googling something. Probably “kansas city cockroach problem yes?” or something similar.

Coworker literally appears out of air, and: “YOU SHOULDN’T BE LOOKING AT THAT WEBSITE, LAURA.”

ME (practically empty pants): GOOD GOD

Steve: Oh sorry…

Me: I am shaking, Steve. You could scare the nuts off a squirrel.

Steve: (looks at me like I just said I’d eat his children) Huh?

Me: Nevermind. You scared the crap out of me.

Him: ……….. just tell mike I’ll call him next week.

Me: (quivering) …. yeah. Will do.

A quick sampling of why I am, and will always be, too sarcastic and obnoxious for a white-collar office. NO ONE GETS IT.


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