Last night my brother (Gavin), my dad and I all finally tried this crazy thing called planning and actually went to a baseball game and actually TAILGATED. For the FIRST TIME. My family is not a tailgating / camping sorta family, and we’re all a bunch of disorganized fools and so this was like, a BENCHMARK in Heathcock lineage. The below story is so completely, totally perfect as an example of what it’s like to be in my family.

We all rushed massively after work to meet at Gavin’s apartment with all our beer and condiments and bread and an actual grill and got out of there by 6. DAMN. We get there, and start to get fully set up – like, the grill on fire, all the buns laid out, the beers have been cracked open.The grill’s hot enough to throw the meat on, and that’s when CLASSICHEATHCOCK illness takes over the party. The meat? LEFT BEHIND. Like showing up to a party without your pants. We all pile back in, kill the grill, get a parking pass that doesn’t work, and drive like a damn bat out of hell – like, 90 mph – down I-70 and grab this godforsaken meat. Get back and grill out and all is right as rain.The Royals win, Zack Greinke is amazing, and good times are had.

Story? Not quite over. We literally spend one entire 30 whole minutes – MINIMUM – looking for Gavin’s car. We probably walked the entire parking lot. FINALLY found, we’re all tired and grumpy and in a rush to get back, and we realize we didn’t do something right with the grill cuz it’s still piping hot. Like, still emitting smoke. After some futile attempts to cool it, we throw it in the back of Gavin’s truck, and haul out of there. The lid falls off within the first second, and we are driving down the busiest freeway with FIRE COMING OUT OF THE BARBEQUE. EMBERS ARE FLYING. I’m just praying that the white hot coals don’t start flying around. Despite various warnings, my brother is calm as a clam, despite their being spilled alcohol in the back and like, every piece of paper used throughout the evening mere inches from the flames.

I’m writing this safe and sound, thankfully. If my camera would have worked, I would have had the most amazing photo EVER to share with you all, i.e me fearing for my life as I watch us drive around the Benton curve at 90 mph with hot embers and smoke billowing out. Mmmm, arty.


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