i’m stressed, officer. please.

I got pulled over tonight, after a stressful, long day. The exchange:

Officer: You were uh… going pretty fast there young lady.
Me: (PANICKED) Yeah I know. I’m very sorry. I’m sorta stressed out.
Officer: Oh yeah? About what?
Me: Work mainly
Officer: Tell me about your work. Where do you work? What do you do that makes you so stressed?
Me: tell him details of day, job, etc and he sits there and listens and at one point offers advice. If I had wanted to cry, I could have.
Officer: Well. Still. You were going like, 20 over.
Me: Yeah, about that. I was trying to speed up for this truck that was behind me that had … (he looks skeptical) … Anyway, very sorry.
Officer goes back to car, takes an ETERNITY.
Officer: Hi. Here’s your stuff. Keep your mind on the road and good luck.

NO TICKET. The officer must have taken one look at my driver’s license where I look tan and happy and relaxed and then back up at me, where I’m sure I smelled like smoke, was white as a ghost and looked like I needed a pint of ice cream. I’m surprised he didn’t tell to get the hell off the road and go take a bubble bath. Regardless, it’s nice to know that there are some cool cops out there like that. I wonder if he goes all Dr. Phil on people trying to hide meth in their eyeballs and microwave babies.


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